Dear Hoomans

I have noticed over the past couple of weeks you have been staying in  my home for extended periods of time. It is lovely having you here but I  feel I should set a few ground rules. I would appreciate it if you  would follow the rules whilst you are staying with me.

1. When you do pop out you will need to take me with you.

2. You seem to be eating lots of nice goodies whilst lazing about the  house. I am entitled to a share of these. I won’t make a fuss I will  just sit in front of you and quietly stare at you until I get my quota.

3. Don’t call me for another bath, I am clean now. Just because you are  bored doesn’t mean I need a wash or haircut. I suggest you go clean the  metal box on wheels outside again. Daddy human has done that a few  times now even though it hasn’t moved in weeks.

4. As you are  here constantly at the moment, it is your duty to let me out as often as  I require. That means that even if I have just come in and want to go  out again you should let me. Sometimes I miss a spot whilst sniffing  about and I need to recheck.

5. When I am asleep, leave me  sleeping, this isn’t a cue for the little humans to play with me. I can  also sleep where I like, I don’t expect to be woken so you can move me.

6. Do not shhhh me when I am barking. As you are here more, my job of  protecting you has increased. I have to listen out for every little noise and inform you of it in case it’s a threat.

7. Don’t leave a  room without me, I know how sneaky you guys can be. Just the other day I  am sure I heard a crisp packet being opened upstairs and no one called  me to share. So from now on I will be following you about.

8. This is a very important rule. If it lands on the floor it’s MINE, if it’s in my mouth it’s MINE.

9. You will never pee alone again, you watch me pee so I do not  understand why you shut me out and close the loo door when you pee.

10. If you do not follow these rules I will use SAD PUPPY DOG EYES TO GET WHAT I WANT !! 🐶🐶

PS: I thought we could share with you some laughter instead of COVID-19 news at this ever-present time.


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